Zain Read online

  I’d had enough of being under a man’s thumb. Never again.

  Over my dead body.

  I let out a big sigh as I studied my reflection in the mirror of the elevator doors. I looked the part. Cheap—but professional—skirt. Sweater. High heels. My dark hair was pulled back in a professional braid. Young, but not too young. That promotion would’ve been more money. A better life for Alena and me.

  But I still didn’t speak English perfectly despite taking a monthly class at the Community College. I’d tried to soften my accent, to no avail. And sometimes it was so thick, people didn’t understand me. I still had trouble with the w sound; I always pronounced it as a v. Sarah thought it was sexy, but I just wanted to sound like everybody else.

  And Marina had been at Simms & Simms longer than I had been. The new position would likely mean even longer hours and I wasn’t sure I could do that. Yes, I wanted a better life for Alena, but not if it meant spending less time with her. Regardless of the guilt trips Viktor threw on me, I was a mom to my daughter first and a paralegal second.

  Of course, Marina had plenty of extra hours to spend with the Simms brothers, trying to show her dedication and prove herself worthy of the new Senior Paralegal position the law firm was opening up in the next month.

  I didn’t mind that, but what I did mind was her trying to make the rest of us look bad so that she could look better.

  I cringed at the thought of Marina getting the job. Almost anyone else in the firm would be a better choice. If I had to report to Marina, with her pinched scowl, navy suits and her thousand-dollar high heels? I’d probably end up hating my life and wanting to jump off a short pier. She always made me feel like I was doing something wrong.

  Speaking of always making me feel like I was doing something wrong . . .

  Viktor. I checked the time on my phone. Oh, he was going to give me so much crap when I got to his house. I could almost feel his impatience growing, even from miles away. I needed to hurry.

  When I reached the lobby, I kicked off my heels, took them in my hands, and sprinted barefoot to my car.

  As I slid into the driver’s seat, my phone rang again. I looked at the display and groaned. Viktor, of course. He was probably steaming. I knew better than to not answer. Breathing hard and bracing myself, I lifted the phone to my ear. “I’m on my way now. I had to stay late at work.”

  His voice was hard. “Solnyshka, what did I tell you?”

  Oh, he’d told me plenty of things that were burned into my head. Many were buried so deep in my brain that it’d taken me years to escape him. Even now when I drifted off to sleep his voice sometimes played in my mind: Watch Alena, be careful with Americans, they can be untrustworthy. Don’t answer the door for people you don’t know. How many times to I have to tell you to keep your phone charged at all times?

  When we first married, I’d been so in love that I couldn’t possibly dream of him hurting or undermining me. Then I got pregnant and was alone in this new country with no money, no means of supporting myself. I could barely speak English.

  He gradually engrained into my head that I needed him; that I wouldn’t survive without him.

  So many things that still made me doubt myself.

  I turned the key in the ignition. “I know,” I said, “but I couldn’t take myself away from my job because I had an important case. I’m stopping at the daycare right now, and I’ll be at your apartment in fifteen minutes.”

  He let out his typical hmph. I knew it so well. Nothing I ever did was good enough for him.

  “If you wanted her so badly, Viktor, you know that you could’ve picked her up from daycare.”

  His voice was a low grumble. “I’m too busy.”

  And I’m not? I wanted to yell at him, but I bit my tongue. I’d see him in fifteen minutes, and I never wanted Alena to see any hint of bad feelings between us. “All right,” I said, doing my best to hide my irritation. “I’m doing the best I can. I had an important case to prepare for.”

  He lowered his voice and spoke in Russian, something he only did when he was being absolutely serious. I should’ve known he wouldn’t care about my job. He wouldn’t even care if I were saving the free world from total destruction. He said, “You’re not following your end of the deal. This is the third time this month.”

  “Yes, I know, but—”

  “If this continues, I’ll have no choice but to go back to the judge and ask for full custody.”

  The threat shook me to my core. I couldn’t let that happen. Alena was the bright spot of my life. At four, she was my closest family. And it wasn’t because he desperately missed Alena and wanted to spend more time with her. He knew that by threatening to take Alena away from me, he’d scare me into submission. It worked.

  “Please, Viktor, I—”

  “—Just get here.” And he ended the call.

  I put the phone down in the center console and swallowed. One thing I’d learned from the six years I’d known Viktor was that he often carried through with his threats. Big and imposing, he made men cower with a simple glare of his steel-gray eyes.

  If only I’d been that afraid of him when we’d met in Moscow. Maybe then, I could’ve run in the other direction and this never would’ve happened.

  Now, we were tied to each other. Having his child only made sure his hold on me would last forever.

  The Little Learners Daycare was right down the street from my office, so I drove there quickly and parked out front. As I passed the colorful murals and artwork of the various children in the Pre-K room, I heard a bright voice call, “Mommy!”

  That was always the absolute best part of my day.

  I crouched as a little dark-haired dynamo rushed me, wrapping her little arms around my waist in an enthusiastic hug that nearly knocked me off my feet. She pressed her cheek into my belly and chirped, “I’m so happy!”

  I tugged on one of her pigtails. “And why is that?”

  “Blaire said I’m the best kickballer in the class. And I made a maraca out of beans and a cup. You make music with it. And I could color it any way I liked so I drew a picture of you and me. Want to see?” Her mouth ran like a motor.

  I nodded, my bad mood melting away as I listened to her infectious giggle. “Of course!”

  She took my hand and dragged me to the window. A number of art projects covered the windowsill, drying in the sun. She pointed her picture out to me, and I had to laugh. She’d given me a big head and strange hair that went down to my toes, but we both had such huge smiles.

  She never painted Viktor in any of her artwork. She always cried whenever I had to send her there. Something told me that Viktor was far too busy with his business dealings to take Alena out for ice cream or mini golf, like I was fond of doing, whenever I could scrape some extra cash together.

  He loved her, yes. Loved me, too. But he had trouble expressing that. He’d had a very harsh upbringing in Russia, with parents who were very strict, and he didn’t know how to show love. And Alena and I—his only family in this country—were afterthoughts. Second to his successful business ventures, whatever they were. I didn’t even attempt to understand. And the main reason Viktor wanted custody of Alena was to get back at me for leaving him.

  I knew that.

  I wished we could be civil, for Alena’s sake. I’d tried to be. But Viktor wasn’t having any of that. He wanted to get in his digs, wherever he could, with the hope that eventually I might believe that I wasn’t good enough to make it on my own and come crawling back to him.

  “It’s beautiful, myshka,” I said to her, nuzzling her soft cheek with my nose as I crouched next to her. “But don’t touch. Let it stay and dry and you can bring it home next time. Come, let’s get your bag and go.”

  She ran to her cubbyhole, where she pulled out her pink princess backpack and her Elsa jacket. We said thank you and goodbye to her teachers chatted happily as I guided to my car. I strapped Alena into her booster seat and took a breath before my next task.

/>   “Now,” I said gently, looking into her big brown eyes. “You know you’re going to daddy’s.”

  She nodded, her smile fading to a pout. “I wish I didn’t have to go, Mommy.”

  I twirled one of her pigtails around my finger. “It’ll be okay. It’s only for two days. Two sleeps, tonight and tomorrow night. I’ll pick you up Sunday afternoon. And Daddy is excited to see you. He just called me, saying he couldn’t wait for all the fun things you’ll be doing.”

  She eyed me doubtfully. Even she seemed to know that I was lying.

  “Daddy is not so bad!” I said brightly. “You told me last time he gave you your favorite for dinner. Hot dogs.”

  “His housekeeper did that. He’s always working.” She stuck her bottom lip out in a pout that crushed my heart.

  “Yes. Well, you tell him you want some time with him. He loves you. He’ll listen to you,” I offered.

  When I met Viktor, he had a big, soft heart. I could bat my big brown eyes and make him do anything for me. He’d dazzle me with his warmth and smile and murmur, “You bewitch me with your eyes, and I will do whatever you want.”

  Not anymore. But Alena had a better chance. Our gorgeous little temptress already had an attitude. She’d catch Viktor with one of her delicious smiles, and I’d see him melt just as I do. In another ten years, we’d be in trouble.

  I kissed her forehead and closed the door, then got into the driver’s seat, put on her favorite CD of kid’s songs, and drove north, to the complex where Viktor lived.

  As I did, I kept checking the rear-view mirror and smiling at Alena’s beautiful, angelic face. She had my eyes, and they lit up as we drove, reflecting everything she saw as she peered out the window. It was hard to believe that something so beautiful could have come from something that had soured so badly.

  If only we could’ve made it work. That was all I wanted when I came to this country. Family. Happiness. Love. Stability.

  Was it too much to ask?

  Viktor’s condominium complex was not far from the daycare. He lived in an enormous condo in a wealthy section of town. Alena and I lived in a small one-room studio over a Chinese restaurant. With the alimony payments I received, I couldn’t afford anything else. I didn’t mind it, though. I liked the simple life. It was just Alena and me and together we were happy.

  Alena didn’t seem to care that at her father’s house she had an enormous bedroom with a canopy and all the stuffed animals she could want. He also had a game room with an air hockey table and a massive television. She still liked my place better. She dragged her feet as I took her little hand and led her to his front door.

  “Come, myshka,” I said, squeezing her hand. “You’ll have fun.”

  “I’d have more fun with you,” she pouted, as I took her princess backpack and helped her up the stairs.

  The door of his condominium flew open as we approached. My ex-husband stood there, his stocky form filling the entire width of the doorway. I looked up to see his big steely eyes glowering at me.

  Alena hid behind me. I stepped aside and she shyly said, “Hi, Daddy.”

  Eyes never leaving mine, he said, sternly, “Hello, Alena. Please go inside. Daddy needs to speak to your mother.”

  Gnawing on her lip, she nodded and looked up at me. I crouched down and gave her a big hug and a kiss on the cheek. “Be a good girl and do as your daddy says, all right? Remember. I’ll be here to pick you up on Sunday afternoon. Okay?”

  She nodded and hugged me tighter. I had to pry her little arms away, which tugged on my heartstrings.

  When she ran into the house, I cringed, bracing myself for the onslaught.

  Viktor stepped outside, his face grave. He was a handsome man, with dark hair cut in a severe, military way and steely eyes, but he’d lost all that boyish, fun-loving charm he’d had when we’d met in Moscow. We used to laugh. He used to smile. Now, he was so intense, always frowning, never lighthearted in the least. No wonder Alena was scared of him. He scared me, too sometimes, especially when he looked at me the way he was looking at me now. Like I’d failed him, done something wrong.

  “Are you trying to turn her against me?” he hissed out, eyes narrowed.

  “What? No, of course—”

  He clamped a hand over my arm and pulled me toward him. Never hard enough to bruise, but always hard enough to get me to fall in line and fear him. “If I hear you are, I will not be happy, Sasha. You know I never say anything against you to her.”

  I sighed. I got the feeling he never said anything at all to her, since he was too busy working. “I know. I don’t. You could smile at her and spend time with her. Maybe she wouldn’t be so scared to come here. I am trying to keep everything between us positive, for Alena’s sake.”

  “If you were doing this for Alena’s sake, then you and I should still be together,” he grumbled. “A child should have her mother and father.”

  “You know we can’t be,” I mumbled. It was the same argument every time we got together. “We fought too much when I was here.”

  “No.”

  “Yes. You can’t doubt it. You may think you want me back, but you know things were worse when we were married.”

  He eyed my skirt and sweater, then reached out and touched the collar. “And this is you? Working for a living? You look ridiculous, like you’re play-acting. I gave you everything so that you wouldn’t have to work. So you could stay at home and be a real mother to our daughter.”

  “I am a real mother to her, Viktor. Just because I work doesn’t mean I’m abandoning her. And I love my career. I’m setting a good example for her, whether or not you think so.”

  He gave me a doubtful look. “I don’t like it. Dropping her off with strangers every day? That’s a good example?”

  “They’re not strangers at Little Learners. Her teacher is wonderful. And she loves it there. She’s learning so much and she has so many friends.”

  He grumbled what sounded like, Vot eto pizdets, and let go of my arm. Life is fucking me. Then he kissed me lightly on the temple. “Ya liublyoo tibya, solnyshka.”

  I love you, sunshine.

  I looked up at him, dangerously close to cracking. Growing up, all I’d wanted in my life was the family: me, my husband, and my children. When Viktor offered it to me, I ran blindly into marriage without thinking. And it became a nightmare.

  He waited for me to reply with the same, but instead, I said, “Please watch over Alena. I know you’re busy but try to give her some of your time.”

  He frowned. “Of, course I will.”

  “Dasvidaniya, Viktor.” Goodbye. I wrenched myself away from him and hurried to my car.

  By the time I buckled my seatbelt, I was shaking. I pressed my forehead against the steering wheel and tried to collect myself.

  How could I say I loved him? Yes, I cared about him, but he wanted a good little puppet to keep home, fat and pregnant while he went off, living his life. He didn’t want a wife. He wanted a servant.

  Oh, how I hated these meetings with Viktor. It was always the same. Half of the time he was trying to control me, the other half he was trying to woo me back. He never seemed to understand it was his try controlling behavior that had made me leave in the first place.

  I’d fought for two years to get up the courage and strength to leave. I would never go back to him, ever.

  When I pulled out of the parking lot, I felt a little better. For the first time in weeks, I’d have a whole weekend to myself.

  As relief washed over me, I started reeling through the possibilities. I could read a book. Or fix up the house. Or practice some of my English lessons.

  But when I looked up and saw the sign for a place called The Wall, I had a better idea.

  I hadn’t had a drink in over a year. Not since I celebrated the finalization of my divorce from Viktor. And that was just a simple glass of wine that my lawyer had given me.

  I wanted something more.

  I slowed and put on my blinker, then turned int
o the full parking lot. When I cut the engine, I pulled my hair out of the braid, fluffed it, and shrugged out of my blazer.

  Right now, I could use something to get this weekend started and calm myself down. Vodka, neat.

  Maybe a double.

  Chapter Three

  Zain

  I rode my bike back toward my place. As I headed up the highway, I thought about church. How the hell did we get ourselves into such a fucking tight spot?

  Nix would say it’d started when we lifted that car outside the country club. The Fury worked with a guy named Anderson who’d fucked with them. They kidnapped his daughter, Liv, and tossed her in the back of a Mercedes S-Class. So instead of Anderson getting the warning message from the Fury, we’d found her when we popped the trunk. Then Nix and Liv got together, and fell in love, but not before pissing the Fury off royally.

  Cullen would probably say it was Grace. He’d been so intent on protecting his girl and daughter, he’d gone overboard and pissed off a bunch of Fury with some seriously bad attitude. That had resulted in an all-out gunfight.

  Drake would’ve said it was Cait, the Fury president’s daughter. We’d had to step in when it turn out that her dear old dad, Slade, was abusing her. We wound up killing Slade in that fight.

  I’d bet Jet would’ve blamed it on Nora. He’d fallen for Nora after he got a gunshot to the stomach in the fight. He landed in her hands as the surgeon who fixed him up. But he’d gotten the Fury plenty pissed off when they came looking for him. Jet was always going around looking for trouble. He loved egging the Fury on.

  And Hart would’ve said it started just a little while ago, with Charlotte and Joel, her little brother. We nabbed Joel during the fight working as a Fury prospect, but we made him our friend. And because of his allegiance to us, the Fury took him out. Right in front of our eyes. Talk about sending a message.

  Yeah, Fury had good reasons to start more shit, in addition to the fact that we’d begun to cut into their business.